Learn the similarities between death and divorce and how to unpack your grief—your future depends on it.
Did you know that almost half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation? That means millions of people walk around with broken hearts, grieving the loss of a relationship that was supposed to be “for better or worse, in sickness and in health.”
But is the pain of divorce the same as the pain of death? Does losing someone we love or once loved in a romantic capacity the same as someone we love passing away?
People often suggest that divorce is not the same as death. Society as a whole encourages us to get back to work, move on, and avoid staying “stuck.” Many workplaces don’t offer bereavement to someone experiencing a divorce or many other losses, as if death is the only event worth grieving in this life. The reality, though, is society is not only avoidant of discussing grief; but ill-equipped to handle it altogether.
More than ever, people need support and resources to unpack their grief and begin their healing journey, regardless of the root cause of their grief. And when you consider the grief from divorce and death are similar in severity, gaining a clearer understanding about grief and how to overcome it are that much more critical.
How Divorce and Death Are Similar
- There are over 40 known losses that can cause grief, and divorce is one of them. If you are experiencing grief over a divorce, whether you saw it coming a mile away or it blindsided you, do not let anyone diminish or discount the pain you are experiencing. Divorce is a profound source of grief and warrants the same level of support as someone experiencing any other type of grief.
- While society treats divorce as less serious than death, the pain and sorrow are no different than experiencing the death of a loved one. A divorce is a traumatic event. If you were to study the brain of a person experiencing divorce and the person experiencing death, the effects on the brain and body would be uncannily similar. Further, in many cases, the dissolution of a marriage happens over a long period of time and the ongoing pain and fear are comparable to a loved one slowly dying of a terminal illness.
- Avoiding dealing with grief, be it from a divorce or death, means your ‘baggage” will pour into your future relationships. If you don’t process the pain and begin your own healing journey, whether you suffered a death or a divorce, the unresolved trauma will permeate other areas of your life, including your future relationships.
- The griever must make the choice to do the work to heal if they want to find joy again. We may have no control over the event that rocked our world, but we have the power to decide to process and heal from the event. The choice begins with you, the griever, to do the work and unpack the pain, so your loved ones and future relationships are not adversely affected by your unresolved grief.
Support for Dealing with Divorce
If you are suffering from the pain of divorce or a breakup, you are not alone. We see you, we know you’re hurting, and want to offer you a safe place to share your story and feel supported in your healing journey. Contact us today to set up a free discovery call and spend some time with us – we’re here for you.
Sharon Brubaker is a certified Life Coach and credentialed Grief Specialist who, along with her team, teaches women who are grieving how to process their thoughts and emotions. To learn more about navigating grief within the family, listen to the full podcast episode here or download my free e-Book, The Griever’s Guide, which equips you with the tools to live life after grief; because no griever should have to navigate a broken heart on their own.
