I Cannot Get Rid of their Stuff

July 2, 2021

I will never move his stuff, ever.

You don’t have to. There is no law that says you have to get rid of anything. This is a 100% personal decision that we each have to make for ourselves.

Oddly enough, most of our friends and family members will feel that the faster we get rid of their stuff, the faster we will heal from our pain. The truth is, there is no time limit on your personal grief. With or without their personal items, your grief will appear.

Our friends and family have the best of intentions; they are trying to fix the pain because they cannot stand to see us hurt.

But this is your grief. You get to say when you let go of personal items and what you keep. 

Tips for sorting out personal items:

  • In most cases, it is better to do your grief healing prior to cleaning out the personal items.
  • Give yourself some time before getting rid of material things. While in pain, we do not always think clearly and may get rid of personal items that we want to keep.
  • Know that you do not have to get rid of anything.

 

Related Articles

How Grief Affects Self-Identity

How Grief Affects Self-Identity

Mar 19, 2025

Grief doesn’t just take away a person you love—it can take away who you thought you were. Losing someone close to you can make the world feel unrecognizable, including the version of yourself that once existed. Suddenly, the roles you played, the routines you...

Breaking the Cycle of Grief Avoidance

Breaking the Cycle of Grief Avoidance

Mar 12, 2025

Grief is painful. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes unbearable. And because of that, many people do something that feels easier in the moment: they avoid it. They distract themselves with work, social media, endless errands, or mindless TV. They push down their...

Guilt vs. Regret in Grief: Understanding the Difference

Guilt vs. Regret in Grief: Understanding the Difference

Mar 5, 2025

Grief carries many emotions, but two of the most painful—and often confusing—are guilt and regret. They whisper in your mind late at night, replaying moments over and over. I should have called more. Why didn’t I visit that day? I should have done something...