Saugus Together ~ Forever Strong

December 3, 2019

 

 

 

Tonight as  I search the web for words of wisdom to send all the kids of Santa Clarita Valley that went back to school today; our Saugus friends.    I need to tell them that it will be ok.  Encourage them to “ be strong”. Keep going.  But the truth is… there is nothing that I could have said that will make this transition any better.  Their little hearts are forever changed.  And for most of them the trajectory of their lives have been forever moved.   Some will now and forever mark their their lives by this loss.  The change to their tiny precious broken hearts has taken place. Even as a Grief Specialist I can not change what they each experienced. I can not go back in time and changed what happened to them that sunny day in November 2019.  That is not my super power. Sad to say.

 

With conflicting feelings they went  back to school today.  And the truth is that none of us knows how this felt for them.  We have no idea of the fear, mixed with the excitement, mixed in with the over-whelming  sadness.

Some will even be excited to see their friends.  Friends  that they have been away from these past 17 days.  We have know idea what it will be like to walk past the courtyard where the shooting took place.  As much as we say we understand.  The truth is we do not.  And we never will.  Their lives are forever changed.

 

So it came to me.  Tell them the truth. The truth about myself.

Here is what I can say to them today.  I have no idea how you feel right now.  My heart is breaking with yours and my entire town that you had to experience this.  Know that I am with you.  I see you.  I see your face and your tears.  I feel this pain.  I love you all so much.   And each and everyone of us in this town would have done everything within our power to have you never experience this.

 

We are Saugus Together ~ Forever Strong

 

P.S.

 

Mom and Dad’s keep talking to them.  Even if they don’t want to.  Don’t ask them how they are doing because they do not know how to articulate it.  Talk about your own experience with the shooting.  Use feeling words sad, mad, glad, afraid, embarrassed, or alone.  They will learn from you how to express what they are feeling.

 

With All My Heart I Love You Neighbor,

 

Sharon Brubaker

Related Articles

Words Matter: The Impact of Language on Grief

Nov 14, 2024

 Misunderstanding of Grief Grief is often misunderstood and mislabeled. People frequently misname grief as depression, PTSD, or trauma. However, at the heart of these feelings is grief. Understanding and accurately naming grief is crucial for healing. Providing people...

The Fear of Moving On Without You

Feb 24, 2024

Welcome to "Healing Starts with the Heart," a podcast where we explore the journey of healing from grief. I'm your host, Sharon, and today we're going to talk about a feeling that many of us who have experienced loss can relate to: not wanting to return to 'normal.'...