Saugus Together ~ Forever Strong

December 3, 2019

 

 

 

Tonight as  I search the web for words of wisdom to send all the kids of Santa Clarita Valley that went back to school today; our Saugus friends.    I need to tell them that it will be ok.  Encourage them to “ be strong”. Keep going.  But the truth is… there is nothing that I could have said that will make this transition any better.  Their little hearts are forever changed.  And for most of them the trajectory of their lives have been forever moved.   Some will now and forever mark their their lives by this loss.  The change to their tiny precious broken hearts has taken place. Even as a Grief Specialist I can not change what they each experienced. I can not go back in time and changed what happened to them that sunny day in November 2019.  That is not my super power. Sad to say.

 

With conflicting feelings they went  back to school today.  And the truth is that none of us knows how this felt for them.  We have no idea of the fear, mixed with the excitement, mixed in with the over-whelming  sadness.

Some will even be excited to see their friends.  Friends  that they have been away from these past 17 days.  We have know idea what it will be like to walk past the courtyard where the shooting took place.  As much as we say we understand.  The truth is we do not.  And we never will.  Their lives are forever changed.

 

So it came to me.  Tell them the truth. The truth about myself.

Here is what I can say to them today.  I have no idea how you feel right now.  My heart is breaking with yours and my entire town that you had to experience this.  Know that I am with you.  I see you.  I see your face and your tears.  I feel this pain.  I love you all so much.   And each and everyone of us in this town would have done everything within our power to have you never experience this.

 

We are Saugus Together ~ Forever Strong

 

P.S.

 

Mom and Dad’s keep talking to them.  Even if they don’t want to.  Don’t ask them how they are doing because they do not know how to articulate it.  Talk about your own experience with the shooting.  Use feeling words sad, mad, glad, afraid, embarrassed, or alone.  They will learn from you how to express what they are feeling.

 

With All My Heart I Love You Neighbor,

 

Sharon Brubaker

Related Articles

How Grief Affects Self-Identity

How Grief Affects Self-Identity

Mar 19, 2025

Grief doesn’t just take away a person you love—it can take away who you thought you were. Losing someone close to you can make the world feel unrecognizable, including the version of yourself that once existed. Suddenly, the roles you played, the routines you...

Breaking the Cycle of Grief Avoidance

Breaking the Cycle of Grief Avoidance

Mar 12, 2025

Grief is painful. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes unbearable. And because of that, many people do something that feels easier in the moment: they avoid it. They distract themselves with work, social media, endless errands, or mindless TV. They push down their...

Guilt vs. Regret in Grief: Understanding the Difference

Guilt vs. Regret in Grief: Understanding the Difference

Mar 5, 2025

Grief carries many emotions, but two of the most painful—and often confusing—are guilt and regret. They whisper in your mind late at night, replaying moments over and over. I should have called more. Why didn’t I visit that day? I should have done something...