Grief and loss are some of the hardest things we can experience in life. And even if we know that bad things can happen, the truth is that we’re never truly prepared for them. Whether it’s losing a loved one, facing a breakup, or experiencing a change in life that shakes our world, the impact of grief can catch us off guard.
It’s common to hear the phrase, “Bad things shouldn’t happen to good people.” But the reality is that life doesn’t play by those rules. Loss doesn’t care how kind, loving, or prepared we are. It can happen to anyone, at any time. Understanding this might not make the pain go away, but it can help us come to terms with the fact that grief is a normal part of the human experience.
You Can’t Be Fully Prepared for Loss
You might have heard people say, “I was expecting this,” or “I was prepared for this loss.” While it’s true that we can sometimes see loss coming—like when a loved one is sick—no one can be fully prepared for the pain that comes with it. We might think we’re ready, but when the loss actually happens, it still hits like a wave, knocking the wind out of us.
Grief is unpredictable. One day, you might feel okay, and the next, you might be overwhelmed with sadness or anger. You can plan for how you might handle a situation, but your emotions will often have their own plans. And that’s completely normal.
Bad Things Happen to Everyone
Life has a way of surprising us. It’s easy to think that if we’re kind, caring, and do everything “right,” then bad things shouldn’t happen to us. But life is not always fair. Grief and loss don’t choose their targets based on who “deserves” them. They happen to everyone, regardless of how good or prepared we try to be.
This doesn’t mean that the bad things happening are your fault. It’s simply part of life’s unpredictability. Bad things can happen to good people, and it doesn’t make you any less deserving of love and care.
It’s Okay to Feel Unprepared
When loss occurs, you might feel lost, shocked, or even guilty for not being “ready.” But here’s the thing: no one is ever truly ready for grief. Even if you’ve experienced loss before, every new grief is different. The emotions, the thoughts, and the way it affects your life will change each time. It’s okay to feel like you don’t know how to handle it, because no one has all the answers.
What You Can Do When Grief Hits
Since we can’t control when loss happens or how it affects us, it’s important to focus on what we can do:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel angry, sad, confused, or even numb. Let yourself experience these feelings without judgment.
- Seek Support: You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to friends, family, or a support group. Sometimes, just knowing someone else understands can make a huge difference.
- Practice Self-Care: Grief can be exhausting. Make sure to take care of your physical health by eating, sleeping, and moving your body.
- Take It One Day at a Time: Grief doesn’t come with a timeline. There is no “right” way to grieve, so take things one day, or even one moment, at a time.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel unprepared. No one has it all figured out, and that’s perfectly normal.
Moving Forward
Grief is a tough, messy experience that doesn’t follow any rules. You can be the kindest person in the world and still face loss. No matter how much you try to prepare, when grief hits, it can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you. But remember, you are not alone. Loss happens to all of us, and it’s okay to reach out for support and give yourself grace as you navigate this difficult time.
You might not have all the answers, and that’s okay. Take it one step at a time, honor your feelings, and know that even though bad things happen, they don’t define who you are or the goodness that you carry with you.